For a couple of weeks I have been very down. In less than one week I will be 35. I know this does not sound very old to most people out their but to me this is a very sad age for me. In fertility years this is the age that pretty much ends it all. From here on any chances of me getting pregnant or having a baby goes down. Needless to say I am sad.
I thought I was doing ok but I just found out that one of the teachers I work with is pregnant, a friend of mine just had a baby and another friend of mine is now pregnant. The worst part of this is that she didn't even tell me. I found out through facebook. I know everyone is saying that she wouldn't want to hurt my feelings by telling me (especially because she didn't want anymore children). I have to say though that she has hurt me even more because she didn't tell me and she has stopped responding to any communication from me.
So here I am again.... In a depression that it gets harder and harder to pull myself out of it. I love it when people tell me I should be happy with what I have. It sure is easy to say when you are standing there holding your baby in your hands to give this advice to someone else who will never have what they have always wanted. I know I have great things in life but I am SAD!!!
I just have to remember to breathe in and out everyday.... Enjoy the things I have and wash my hands of those who have abandoned me. I just wish it was that easy!