Wednesday, July 14, 2010
"Why don't friends with kids have time?"
This article has been passed around facebook and every stay home mom out there are just singing it's praises. Well not being a stay home mom and not having children at all I find myself hating the article and hating the people cheering for it. Now please don't get me wrong. I know that stay at home moms work very hard and are very busy. I also know being a teacher and taking care of 30 children a day, going home with work from school and taking care of my home and family that I am very busy too. I also know that I have have not stopped communication with my friends.
I have friends who have children and when I call them they will let me know if they are busy or not. They will also call me back if they can not talk at that moment. I have also had friends that I can call and call and call and never hear back from them. I understand you are busy! BUT a friendship is a relationship and if this relationship is going to continue and grow it takes give and take from both sides. I feel like as a good friend I understand that you need time to yourself and that you will not always be able to talk when I call. I also understand that now when we do something it will include your children. I am fine with that but in return sometimes I would like when you are taking your 10 minutes to yourself that you might think of me and pick up the phone, send me an e-mail or even just text me.
Friendships are like marriages if you don't work at it they die. Some of your friends may not have children by choice, some might want children but can't have them. Stop treating your childless friends like the enemy! They are not trying to start a war with you. They are just trying to be a part of your life.
I know that I have not spent a day in a stay at home mother's shoes, but they have not spent a day in my shoes. Dealing with other people and their children, being yelled at about something I can not do anything about or coming home wanting a minute to sit down and have a conversation with my husband but I have more work to do and phone calls to make (mind you to "parents" who couldn't care less what is going on with their children, some being stay at home moms). In the end everyone no make what your "job" is can make time for their friends if they care enough!